Saturday, May 23, 2009

The ex Mrs. Hedgefund

Just finished my book and it was so funny! The best parts of the whole book are at the beginning of every chapter. It gives you a joke about marriage! They are quite funny! Enjoy!
"Have you ever heard of the new divorced Barbie? She comes with all of Kens stuff!"
"My ex-wife is a cardiac surgeon. She ripped my heart out."
"My husband and I separated for religious reasons. He thought he was God and I didn't."
"FOR SALE: Wedding dress. Size 6. Worn once by mistake."
"An ex-spouse is like an inflamed appendix It causes a lot of pain and suffering, and when it's removed, you realized you didn't need it, anyway."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships."
"My husband and I were happy for twenty-five years... then we met."
"When I meet a guy, I think, Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison you drink.
Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
"Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same."
" I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Woman #1: My husband's an Angel!
Woman #2: You're lucky. Mines still alive.
"She's been married so many times, she has rice marks on her face."
"Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
Q: What food cause the most suffering?
A: Wedding Cake.
"If variety is the spice of life, then marriage is a big can of leftover Spam."
"When a woman steals your husband, there's no better revenge than to let her keep him."

1 comment:

Emily Christine said...

Those are so funny! I am going to have to check it out!!